Minnesota Thome

As the world's biggest Jim Thome fan, the months since the end of the MLB season have been filled with anxiety and speculation as to when and where Big Jim would sign coming off free agency. Relegated to a DH role, Jim would have to return to the AL after his bizarre trip west to the Dodgers, and certainly he would prefer to be close to his Peoria home so late in his career. Fans, teammates, and ownership in Chicago were certainly receptive to having him playing in the South Side once again, so common sense would have him returning to the White Sox, right?

Well, he would be, were it not for ornery, acerbic Ozzie Guillen.

The worst talent evaluator in baseball put the skids on Thome's return after cowardly Ken Williams handed him the reigns to personal decisions this off-season. Not wanting to field a full-time DH, Guillen will instead turn to a clearly superior DH-by-committee including such legendary hitters as Mark Kotsay, Andruw Jones, and OMAR VIZQUEL.

Instead, Jim signed with Sox rivals the Twins earlier this week to the tune of a paltry $1.5M - less even than the Sox are paying the vastly inferior Kotsay. With the Twins moving to a new park this season, it's yet to be seen how the move will affect his offensive output. Still, it's safe to say that Thome should put up much better numbers than whatever the Sox hope to field in his old slot this season.

Good luck in the Frozen North, big guy, and sweep the Sox for me. Maybe then they'll recognize the folly of their ways.

For more on the signing:

• Ozzie Guillen is not a fan of the DH, Productive Offenses
• Thome Makes Entire White Sox Organization Look Like Fools, Signs With Twins for Pennies
• An Unladylike Reflection On The Gentleman